I went off my most recent rheumatological med yesterday morning.
I guess I hadn’t realized how well it was working, because man am I ever in bad shape now. I feel like I was trampled by a herd of horses. My hands are in loads of pain, my back is agony, my feet are tender, and my knees rebel every time I even think about going upstairs. I’m on percocet for the pain until I can get a hold of my rheum and ask for a new med. My fingers are up 1/2 a ring size, and my wrists are about 15% larger than normal. It hurts where my ribs meet my spine and where they meet my breastbone. I’m actually nauseated from the pain.
I’m annoyed. I auctioned a lace scarf almost two months ago to support some rebuilding efforts in Haiti via Random Acts, and I haven’t been able to finish it and send it to the (very understanding) buyer. I really feel bad as the buyer had wanted to give it to her mother for her birthday last week. And now it’s delayed until I can get a new med, AGAIN.
I’m very glad I dropped my research class, because all of these days I’ve lost to physically not being well this summer would have added up to a very poor project. Certainly not anything worthy of my friend’s memory.
I’m frustrated that I’m having to try another new medication for the pain and swelling. This makes three I’ve had to be pulled off (though one of those was only intended to be a short-term fix, but it didn’t survive even the amount of time we hoped it would). Two went down to GI side-effects, and this one went down to fatigue and generalized muscle cramps.
I’m sick of this. Sick of being sick with whatever it is hitting my joints, sick of the meds, sick of the side effects, sick of having to stop taking things that are working.
Brilliant Mind Broken Body 
Oh Kali, you’ve been going through such a hard time. The loss of your friend, leaving school, all the pain and new symptoms, and all the medication problems. Ugh.
I’ve had that happen, too, where I’ve been on a med I didn’t know was working until I stopped taking it, and all sorts of symptoms blossomed that had been suppressed. It sucks.
My heart goes out to you. This is indeed a balancing act of great proportions…seems we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Wishing you luck with your next choice.