So, yesterday everyone’s favorite goddess of entropy turned 27. (Hey, I go by Kali, remember?)
It’s funny, 27 feels a lot older than 26 did. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s partly because I’ve been working as a clinical legal intern for the past several months, which is very much like the sort of work a new lawyer does in a big organization. Maybe it’s because a decade ago I celebrated the first birthday after I moved out of my parents’ house for college. Maybe it’s because I’m now three times the age where I first have a long series of clear memories (I don’t remember much from when I was a little kid – a couple of quick little flashes, but not a whole lot).
At any rate, my birthday weekend certainly could have gone better. I dislocated my left shoulder fully several weeks ago, and I’ve been having more severe trouble with my back ever since. Over the weekend, it got so bad that it caused a really horrific migraine on Thursday, bad enough that I threw up and maxed out my doses of all of my meds. I spent all day Friday in bed, and was so badly off that I didn’t even put Hudson’s bowl down on the floor for him, I had to have the boyfriend do it. I spent the first two-thirds of Saturday in bed, but eventually made it up for a few hours at the end of the day. Oh, and the only reason I made it up was a combination of two long hot baths (one Fri one Sat) and slow, gentle stretching while in bed. It was certainly a lousy couple of days. There may or may not have been a minor brush with something flu-like involved; my vote is that I was sick. I was more-or-less back to the pre-Thanksgiving state by Sunday, my actual birthday. Today, I got to see my PT with the magic hands, Vince. I’m sore and achey from being worked on, but I know tomorrow I will feel better than today. Usually it’s more immediate, but hey, I can deal.
And for my birthday, Hudson gave himself ear infections *rolls her eyes* so the other trip out today was to the vet.
Having said that, it wasn’t a bad birthday, really. The boyfriend and I sat and watched back-episodes of Supernatural (we’re partway through season 4, no spoilers!) and generally had a pretty relaxed day. My sister gave me something thoughtful but not presently very useful (cooking gadgetry, when I rarely cook anymore). My parents gave me some $200 worth of limited edition perfumes that I’d been positively lusting after and crushed at the thought that I wasn’t going to get them. The boyfriend gave me a gift certificate to Old Navy, where I get most of my work clothes and a good deal of my non-work clothes, as they magically have clothing that FITS! this short, curvy, busty girl. I’ve already transformed a bit less than half of it into a sweater that I’d been wanting for weeks but couldn’t justify the price of (on a nice Thanksgiving sale, no less).
This coming week is a bit exciting, a bit scary, and a bit sad. Exciting and scary both come in over the fact that I’m getting my new leg braces. I’m excited because I’ve been stuck not-walking for the past 5 months and I’m sick of it. I’m a bit scared because these braces are going to go from my feet to the middle of my thighs, which is quite a big piece of machinery. These braces are being designed to deal with the problems of the former braces – heat, cuts from the edge of the braces, difficulty in getting into them, and discomfort wearing them. They’re 100% custom and will have padding and rolled edges to make them easier on my body. I also decided, what the hell, if people are going to stare at my braces, I may as well give them a reason to – so the new braces are going to be swirly blue instead of the basic black of the old ones. Also scary is talking to my doctors (my GP and my pain specialist) about starting to investigate what we think may be CRPS or RSD in my feet and lower legs. Yet another piece of scary is my schedule for next year – registration is due on the 2nd, and I’m still trying to figure out if I can take the clinical I want and if I can find someone to supervise some ‘guided research’. Sad is finishing up my internship at the LGBT center. I’ll be keeping on a couple of my clients, because they’re cases I really feel involved in, but the rest I’ll be writing transfer memos for to inform the next intern what’s going on.
The academic stuff is particularly stressful. The clinical issue is…well, it’s upsetting. The professor for that clinic is making noises about not being able to accomodate me, and I don’t know how well I’ll be able to fight that. See, he’s saying that if I can’t make the hours he’s dictating, he’s worried that I ‘won’t get the full experience of the clinical’. And if that’s true, they can say that they are unable to accomodate me and it’s legal. I thought we had come to an agreement weeks ago, and I spoke to the clinical director saying as much, only to have him ripost that we hadn’t had an agreement and there are lots of problems still to deal with. I need to get an accomodation letter from my GP, but it’s been hard to get in to see him. I’m finally seeing him tomorrow. And the guided research…whoo. One of my co-authors on the article is making noises that we really need to get to work on this article, but there’s no way I’ll have time unless I am getting academic credit for the research and writing, which means I need to find someone to supervise my research and so far, I can’t hook anyone. Time is coming down to the wire, and my anxiety is ratcheting up.
Early December is my least favorite time of year. It’s getting miserable and cold (which makes me ache so much), school stress is at fever-pitch, holiday stress is starting up, and I have a tendancy of injuring myself or getting sick right about this time of year almost every year. Going to visit people for the holidays tends to stress me out – my extended family and my sister stress me out, and I always feel like the boyfriend’s parents don’t quite approve of my needs to rest, sleep, avoid the cold, and avoid their rather abrupt driving. Not to mention they’re Christian and the boyfriend and I are living together but aren’t planning to get hitched for several years yet.
This time of year makes me long for early fall, when the heat of summer has faded and the nights have just a hint of crispness to them. When the sun still glows warm in the afternoon but doesn’t melt me. When the last corn of the season is still in the farmer’s markets and the first apples are starting to appear. Oh how I love early fall. Winter feels all the more disappointing because of the length of stunningly georgous weather we had this fall. We’ve only just pulled air conditioners out of windows this past week because it wasn’t cold enough for them to be a problem. But now…now the cold seeps through the windows so badly that we’ll need to get the plastic window cover kits to create insulation so that the livingroom isn’t half-frozen by the big front windows. As for the kitchen, well, there’s no helping it because the door isn’t hung straight so it’s got gaps everywhere and besides that the kitchen was a late addition without much insulation. The bathroom is just as bad as the kitchen – to take a hot bath right now, I have to run the bath far too hot 20 minutes before I want to get in so that it will warm up the evil cast iron bathtub. I hate that bathtub. It makes me long for the fiberglass constructions I’m used to that warm up in just a minute or two.
Ah well. At least no snow has stuck yet. Adieu to the unseasonably fair weather that took us through most of November, and Salut to the miserable cold come creeping in.