Archive for June 1st, 2011

Giving in

I left Facebook a year ago over concerns about the way they handle privacy and concerns about my professional life.  See, my Facebook profile was in my given name, which meant a potential employer could easily find it.  I think that my conversations about disability stuff and my somewhat problematic friends list would be less than helpful in getting a job.

When I say somewhat problematic, I’m mostly talking about family.  See, I have a couple of young family members whose public/private filters don’t match at all with mine.  A cousin posted pictures of herself in lingerie to her facebook, which sure startled me!  Another relative is prone to posting things like herself drinking when she was underage and smoking joints.  Now, if this was just personal, it wouldn’t bother me much, but nowadays employers DO look at facebook, not only at your page but who you have friended.  I’m sure the quick answer then is ‘okay, so unfriend them!’ – the problem is, my family is prone to DRAMA.  If I unfriended family, I would hear about it at the next family gathering and several more besides.

If future employers would only look at my profile, well, it would be difficult because I talk about disability issues and being tired and sore and so on.  But they don’t, nowadays – they look at your friends, too.  So I deleted my profile.

The final straw in the matter was an issue of principle.  Facebook has made more and more information public, and often given its subscribers no notice and little way to undo exposure it has created.  I believe strongly that businesses have a responsibility to respect their customers’ desired levels of privacy.  If you want to put everything out there like my cousin in her lingerie, well, that’s what you want.  But if you’re more like me, you just had facebook to keep tabs on friends and family and the last thing you want is the whole world able to see every little piece of information about you.  Facebook changing its privacy policy without notice on an opt-out model* really pissed me off.  I’ve had stalkers, I don’t want companies deciding to give away more of my information than I want given!

Well, enough friends have been on facebook recently that I’m putting one up with my nom de plume, Kali Blaze.  Part of me feels bad, because the issue of principle still exists and is still a problem.  On the other hand, having a disability is pretty isolating, so having another medium for connection available to me is a good thing.

* Opt-out models are ugly business, in my opinion.  Basically, an opt-out model means the business says ‘we are doing this thing unless you do X, Y, and Z to forbid us from doing so.  I think opt-in models are much more ethical, where you have to tell them they can do whatever it was they wanted to do.

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I’m training Hudson to do my dirty work.

When the boyfriend teases me, I used to poke him or tickle him.  I’ve had increasing problems with my hands for longer than we’ve known each other, though, so there are often times when I can’t do that.  Particularly recently, with the maybe-it’s-auto-immune thing I’ve been dealing with.

So my solution is to find something Hudson can do.  I’ve invented the command ‘toes’, at which Hudson is supposed to nose or lick the boyfriend’s toes.

The boyfriend is amusingly tolerant of the whole affair.

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