I mentioned a while ago that I tried to talk to my boss about her use of the word ‘crazy’.
Well, Wednesday I had a chance to talk to another intern who had been using the word ‘lame’ when she got upset. I very much like this other intern, so I was afraid of having this talk. It’s harder for me to approach people who I like about problematic language. Especially since the conversation with my boss…didn’t go off as planned.
It couldn’t've gone better. I phrased it simply. “Lame refers to having an ‘abnormal’ gait. Like me.”
She was shocked to realize how hurtful her language was, and promised in the future to try to remove it from her language.
I thanked her. Because that response? That’s the response of a true ally. I don’t expect people to get it right every time, to get it right from the start. But when a person is presented with a choice of respecting or ignoring the word of a person from the minority group, I think that’s when you find out who your real allies are.
Fellow intern, you can count yourself as my ally. I sure do.
Yay! I HATE the way “lame” is used constantly in everyday language. (It’s “hip” to talk about how “lame” [fill in the blank/everything] is.) I have tried to talk to people about not using this term, and I have not gotten very far. This is encouraging. Rock on.
Glad it went well
Oh, I say!
There is a very good parallel with the use of the word “gay” to mean unexceptional, unhip, etc. I find it used a lot in middle school populations, some in high school, but anybody older than that still using “gay” as a general term of disparagement need educating.
What do you think of the SUV advertisement running currently, “Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you have to be lame.” This is a 2hip4U kid complaining of his parents’ taste in cars. Again, middle-school age targeting… except that it’s adults who buy cars.
I would have made the comparison if it’d been necessary, since she’s involved in the community and would get it (she’s gender-queer). But as soon as I explained that ‘lame’ describes people like ME, she was clearly taken aback and embarassed to realize what she’d been saying.
But I definitely intend to keep that comparison in reserve for other people.
Hah, I suspect you already know what I think about that advertisement!